Hi all my little nutra-sweeties! Its that time of the year when people stop to remember how much they love ME. Its extra special when all of you give me more love than normal on the 14th of February. I just wanna say thanks and please send more chocolates.
Lets start this Valentines day with some CONFESSIONS.
I have purchased new tires for the 14th of Feb for that special someone! ...Another Valentines Day I gave car mats to my beloved.
If you havent figured it out…. I am a very practical lover.
… I think I even bought a cullender for a Valentines day gift… but maybe that was Christmas.
… I have given a REI flashlight for VD…. but we were going camping in JUNE so it seemed appropriate. Once for Valentines Day purchased flavored lube. Thats about as romantic as I can get.
I guess this is a good stopping point for other VD challenged people like myself to make a list of things NOT to buy on this special day
THINGS YOUR PARTNER MAY NOT WANT ON VALENTINES DAY!
Spark plugs, Bianca breath spray, a framed picture of your Ex, Murphy’s Oil Soap, Breath Right nasal strips, a lawnmower, earplugs, Dexatrim, laundry detergent, dictionary, sleeping pills, motor oil, antacids, Idiots Guide to better sex, IV antibiotics, spandex shorts, Listerine, Toilet seat covers, Day old donuts, cat litter, plant fertilizer, diuretics, Kevin Trudeau’s Mega memory book, Gas-X, soap, coffee enema, 10 sessions with a therapist, deodorant, Gonnorhea and stool softners.
CHOCOLATE IS A TRADITIONAL VALENTINES DAY GIFT
AND IS MOST APPRECIATED BY ME
Other Valentine gift ideas for ME would include: root beer jelly beans, sexy panties (32W), extra large condoms, heart shaped pillows, cupcakes with pink frosting, a boyfriend who’s not a SF stereotype, massage oil, insane blow-jobs, sloppy hand jobs, odd jobs, indentured servants, scented candles, happy thoughts, edible underwear, more happy thoughts, more chocolate, coffee beans, lesbian girlfriends and a house in Spain.
KISSES
KYLE SILER
AKA CARLOS
If you have recieved this Email and would like to be removed from my mailing list you probably are a Big Loser and have no sense of humor. In any matter please respond to this email with I AM A PATHETIC SOUL WITH EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS AND CANT HANDLE THESE HILARIOUS BLOGS and you will be referred to a local psych ward and removed from this mass email of all my adoring fans who think you suck.
